CUTSKIES! (CUT-skees): exclamation announced after being cut from an audition.

I got cut. Again. A telephone call to Mom we all have made, some of us more times than others… not depending on talents, but on how many auditions we’ve put ourselves through! The truth is, it’s a dirty world out there…. and landing a job from an Equity chorus call is just about as easy as skinning a rhino. I mean, living in Queens, who knows where to even FIND a rhino, let alone chase it down, not get mulled or trampled, buy a tranquilizer gun, actually learn how to use such a thing on said rhino, find a knife sharp enough to skin it (would one even use a knife?), not pass out from utter exhaustion….or nausea, the list goes on and on.

Then, once one does go through all the atrocious steps required to skin a rhino, he runs the risk  of not even wanting a skinned rhino anymore! You think to yourself, why did I want to do such a thing in the first place? I now, hereby have this big dead rhino with his organs all exposed and I’ve made quite a mess. Splendid. Such is the auditioning world. ….

We run around from building to building, signing our names list upon list, donning our “cutest” 42^nd Street outfits, laughing mindlessly at casting directors’ jokes, and making our best small talk... most of the time to be turned away before we even get to do a proper time step. Wish we could invent some kind of computerized rhino catcher, but we just can’t. So I am raising a toast to us, the brave hunters of NYC, and saying let’s celebrate the chase we all know and don’t love. Below are some real live ways some fellow hunters ease the punch-in-the-gut I like to call…CUTSKIES!!

When I get cut, I pamper myself by:

(Name, followed by recent credit)

“Going shopping at Lush with the money I don’t have.” Mark Roland, La Cage Aux Falles

“I'm with Mark...shoe shopping is what I like best...although I've had to stop that b/c my credit card to a little ridic!"Amanda Holt, dancer, HAIR Italy tour

“Going to Starbucks or Cosi with friends and eat a real breakfast or lunch without feeling guilty for not being at work! Joice Passos, dancer, Evita National Tour 

“Get S***faced”- Ben Bryden, Jazz Musician (not recommended)

“I’Il spend an evening with my two favorite gentlemen, Mr. Ben and Mr. Jerry. Usually we feed our Phish or sample some creme brulee. ;)” Cara Kierzkowski, actress, How To Succeed

"Caramel frapuccino from Starbucks! It helps everytime :)" Robin Masella, dancer, Candide

“Having an 80s dance party in the kitchen.” Kayleen Simon

“Getting on the train and going home.” Kara Prete, Stiletto Ent. (cue trombone WAAA WAAA)

“Retail therapy! Or eat until I’m numb. Either one!...I also like to come to auditions under the idea that I am hired by Equity to be the entertainment at the auditions….kinda like a court jester.” Jessica Rochwarger, HSM

“Besides eating? Immediately changing my facebook status to an inspirational quote”.                        Lindsay Bracco, Joseph and the ATDC

“Considering my alternative careers… the most recent development? Starting a fake mustache company.” Maxim Gukhman, HSM

 “Well… it depends on how well you felt you did, and what reward matches the same level of the deserving actions...” Ben Byrd (Zumba instructor/Ballroom dancer)

Feel free to comment with tactics of your own! Get out there and keep auditioning. Someone's got to get hired... might as well be you!